therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
