This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
