I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
