How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
