then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
