No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
