I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
