Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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