nut hugger
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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