bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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