We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
