Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
