we made out on top of his cat.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Randomize
