Kiss
Puke
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
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