From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
