Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
