i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
a search helicopter?!
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize