I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
