Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
