I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
