i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
