Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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