You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
