a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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