It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
