What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize