drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
