Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
