You're completely useless in the revolution.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
