Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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