hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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