if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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