I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
