I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
