"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
