she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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