she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
