I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
