Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
