im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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