she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
What a dumb baby whore.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
