im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
