is wine microwaveable?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
