We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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