Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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