Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
