So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize