my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So much Jack, so little girl.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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