worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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