so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
as a side note pls kill me
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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