Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
