she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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