Where are you?
In a non slutty way
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
