I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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