He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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