I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
