so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
My ATM looks so different sober.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize