there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
